Day 12 The Art of Waiting (Calgary)

Dear Diary,

I have concluded the two most agonizing life stages existed. 1. The getting-used-to and 2. The endless waiting. The process of getting-used-to is simply the inevitable and essential aftermath of being informed of anything from sudden absence, betrayal, to imminent death. It is not the amputation that hurts you, it is the frustration you get from learning anew that irritates you.2. perpetually in a state of longing and waiting for something that you have not the slightest control over, just like being locked up on a 400-foot drop ride, is beyond doubt a dreadful experience.

Sorry, Diary, I might have digressed a little bit. The ideas came about during a girls’ talk with an old high-school friend, Vanessa. From day one, I’ve always known her in a stable relationship with her first love until recently which has been 5 years, their relationship came to an end. Despite the eventual plight of this long-lasting puppy love, the indelible tinge of sweetness will remain in her bloodstream as he had contributed a great deal to who she is today. Some people would immediately look out for a rebound or fall into a life of debauchery while Vanessa persists in her belief in true love. As a sassy wildcat, I am awestruck by the fact that they bid their time for 4 years before they had their first sexual experience with each other. Evidently, the deeply-founded emotional connection, not superficial lust, was the driving force of the intimacy at any time for them.

The conversation enlightened me in a manner that I have decided to seek for a change. I shed a teardrop at the thought that I’ve always declared myself to be a free-spirited soul who cannot set my feet on the ground, and perhaps a victim of modern hurry sickness as well. I’ve never had the patience to wait for anything. I tempestuously aimed towards the tree top the moment I locked eyes on one without any knowledge of it.  Once I lost interest after roughly three months, I’d wave my goodbyes with no grief left behind. I asked myself “Am I incapable of falling in love?”

But Vanessa’s love story has answered my question. We can learn so much about a person’s lifestyle and personality within the 5 seconds of eye contact, but we can only learn about a person’s soul through time. There’s no speeding up in reaching someone’s deepest realm, and it shall not begin with physical nakedness. Running against the clock undermines the sincerity of reveling each other’s emotional nakedness, and ends with a shaky ground. When a relationship is built on love instead of physical attraction, it opens a door to long-lasting trust and desire to be with each other. Because when we have things easy, we tend to take them for granted. But, if we wade through the sea of thorns to achieve them, we’ll never forget the moment of victory, we will cherish the medallion with great care. We wait, only because it’s worth to wait.

The reward for delayed gratification must be the best thing existed. Maybe, I should stop to fill myself with the unwholesome instant noodles, but learn to patiently simmer a pot of authentic ramen soup with real-deal fresh ingredients until the juices from the bone reach the perfect concentration. I have faith that this time-consuming procedure is worth it. I think I should start treating Mr. Husky with this new perspective. Well, the painstaking process of waiting and getting used to waiting will be redeemed by the reward of postponed gratification:)

Y.


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