Day 10: Natural Skater (Calgary)

Dear Diary,

Only one morning of training with Shaun already made me feel more confident. His words of encouragement were like the ever-flowing water in the river that slowly propels such tiny unseasoned boat to conquer the sea.

“You’ll be great at it. You seem to be a natural skater.” Said Shaun. This comment called forth a childhood memory of mine that accounts for my ambition to complete this voyage of no return. They would now call me a child prodigy when I recount these past stories. But, back then, nobody including myself succeeded to understand.  At the age of 7, I could play any music by ear without any professional musical training, I could memorize over 30 new English vocabularies in an hour without any parent pushing me to do so, I could run, dance, sing, and hit perfect scores in exams….but the most striking achievement which I just recently found when rummaging through random old mementos was a mini magazine. I designed a booklet of medical jargon (with English being my second language) and anatomical pictures, which are part of the syllabus in college anatomy class.

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You must think I am bragging about my intelligence now. But it is actually quite the contrary. Growing up, despite how handy I was with just about anything, I was never able to learn what my true interest and hobby was. I gave up pursuing mastery right when I felt the slight satisfaction and the onset of boredom, and I simply moved on to a new subject with excitement. I’ve always hated religion class, but this particular saying branded on my mind for the rest of my life “if you don’t properly utilize the seed of talents God has given you, it will be taken away.” Years later, I had no doubt that God had decided to take away my intellect. For years into adolescence, I was forever flowing aimlessly on the lumber raft, gearing unwittingly towards depression.

The habit of jumping around moulded my fickle persona which negatively affected my life as a daughter, student, lover, friend, and even a decent person all these years. Such low threshold for boredom could be addressed, and it should have been. I cannot spend my whole life running away. And I believe this is the time when I should  bravely confront this defect and redeem my past mistakes with sheer determination.

When Shaun called me a “natural skater”, I was reminded that I had actually been good at it once at a kid, but it remained one of those things I gave up on. However, with this skate-a-thon project, believe me, I will skate through the the finish at all cost! I will prove to you and prove to myself that I can do it.

Y


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